Another long weekend

We have just had a long weekend and I haven't written a thing. I don't have anything to write.

The weather was grey and overcast, which makes me think it is cold outside but that's an optical illusion. It's still hot out. As I have mentioned before in my blogs, it always rains when hubby wants to go for a ride. This Saturday just gone was no exception. But he did get out over the weekend.

Otherwise we spent the time happily lounging around the house and the pool. A venture out to China town to see the lanterns, which we were too early for. A wander around the mall and an evening of suger highs, was the high point of the weekend.

This is no bad thing. Relaxing and not doing much is a good thing, a very good thing. But I have come to realise that after the last few years I don't know how to do that. It's been flitting from one drama to the next. So now when we get to do nothing we get antsy. There is an impatience, a distrust of sitting still and enjoying the moment.

I say, something to work on.

Now back to scoffing my face on banana cake.

It's nice to be back

I have been wracking my brains trying to come up with today's chitter chatter.

This week has been a great week. And for the last 3 years that is not something I have been able to say. Having a baby, losing a business, renovating and selling a house (to pay off debt from the business). Well, it's been hard.

It felt like living under a blanket, more like a parachute. Sometimes it is all around you, almost suffocating you and other times it is high above you, giving you a sense of relief and breathing space, but still there. Hanging over your head.

For me the devastating part of this was having a small child that you want to have the energy to love, teach and enjoy. But instead it was a struggle to maintain day to day. My marriage, well don't even go there.

So, for the greater good of the family we decided to relocate. I know, why reign more hard work down on ourselves. I wasn't sure that there were enough reserves in my energy bank to make this happen.

5 months in and I am feeling the most myself I have felt in a long, long time. I am not sure that it is to do with the place (I totally love it here), the fact that it is all still new and exciting, the fact that it is warm (is massive for me), or that I am no longer confronted with the hardships that befell us.

All this week has been uplifting and light for me. My son has been a delight, I am relaxed and my husband has been happy at work.

All good.

To top it off we have a 4 day weekend and can rely on the weather for outdoor fun and games.

Today a moan........

After being for 5 months I have realised that I really need to sort out my wardrobe. Coming from a more temperate climate, I have very little clothing that is suitable for living in the tropics. Even my holiday togs, the ones that only ever saw the light of day when we left NZ for a holiday or I was brave enough to head to the indoor pool (don't let me get started on that), are giving up and need an overhaul.

Now that I cast my mind back a few years. Ok almost 20 years, I am not that old! Really. I have vague memories of moving back to NZ after having grown up in Australia and being very cold as we had no suitable clothing. I guess after living in a place for a long time on and off you adapt to the environment. Well it's time to do that again.

My first priority was my son. I sorted this before leaving NZ. It is easy to pick things up for him. He doesn't need to spend hours in the changing room trying things on.

Have you tried clothes shopping with a 2 year old? It is a nightmare. I still haven't discovered half my local mall yet. It's just not worth the trauma. Which brings me to my point. Yes, there is one.

I get between 10am and 12pm to myself Monday to Thursday. The perfect time to update my wardrobe, you would think. But you would be mistaken.

The only shops open at this time in my local mall are Fairprice (supermarket), parts of the Kopitiam (food court), Bread Talk (sells bready things) and Metro (department store). A coffee shop or two is open as well, but that's not what I am after.

I have two precious hours to shop until my heart is content and can't manage it. This is the shopping mecca, and yet totally unattainable, well for me, when I want to do it.

Most clothing shops will open between 10.30am and 11am. By which point I have lost my will to shop and am itching to come home and enjoy an hours peace and quiet before chaos reigns again. They will also be open long into the night.

Having moaned, I have found that most of the shops at Vivocity are open if I go there right after dropping my son off. This might be because it takes me 20 mins on the MRT and it is around 10.30 when I get there. Also the shops in Tanglin Mall are open at this time. I guess because it is a child focused mall and in an expat/tourist location.

I guess I have two options. Go and have a coffee and chill out and wait for the shops to open, or wait until hubby has come home in the evenings and head out then.

There is the 3rd option of having a live in helper, but that discussion is for another day.

Today I have spent my shopping time writing this instead. Oh well, the holey shorts will have to do for a bit longer.

Searching for your new home

This can be a daunting task. It can be frustrating enough in your home country where you have a reasonable grasp on how things work. Doing it in a totally new country, with different rules and regulations can be terrifying. But if you are thinking about coming to live in Singapore or any new country then it is a part of that equation.

The two times....

Tangent. My husband and I first came to live in Singapore about 10 years ago. While we didn't stay long, I think we may have been a bit too young and it didn't live up to expectations, it gave us a taste for the place.

Speaking of expectations, I think a lot of people come here with one set of expectations and find that the reality is rather different. Singapore has EVERYTHING you could want, it's just up to you to decide how you want to live here.

We have thrown ourselves in boots and all. My husband had been here earlier in the hunting for work. I think that makes us a little bit different to many recently arrived expats that I meet. We chose to come here and most others are transferred. I do get some strange looks from people when I say that we made the decision to come here and actively worked to make it happen.

I get sidetracked so easily. While job hunting and being very good at it, my husband got an offer within the first week of his 3 week sojourn. Instead of returning home and being there for his son's first steps, this is a factual even that happened, is all I am saying. He rightfully so, stayed here and found us a place to live. This was a GODSEND, when we arrived. It meant that we got off the plane and walked right into our place. Made it very easy with our son.

The way to find accommodation in Singapore is with an agent. I do know of people that have done it themselves. Generally these people have been living here for quite some time and have sussed some of the nuances of the city by then.

The agents, there will be two involved, 1 for you and 1 for the landlord, are the ones that you give your brief to. They are the ones that listen to your circumstances eg kids, no kids, huge budget or not, and because they know the city, the market and you they can generally find you the best fit.

In our case, my husband had these romantic notions of living in a shop house and being zen. Our real estate agent pointed out that this would be isolating for me and our son, we wouldn't have any facilities, pool, BBQ pits or play grounds and actually they didn't fit in our budget.

The other thing that we really considered was the location. We wanted something close to the MRT (Singapore's version of the tube, except that it is modern and works wonderfully) and preferably on the same line as my husbands work.

As a consequence of this we live very near little India in a Condo that has great facilities and lots of other mothers and children. This part of why we came here. To be immersed, not stuck in an expat bubble. Although that can be done and I have met a lot of people very happy living this way.

We are on the same line as my husbands work and it means that he doesn't have en excuse for missing story time.

To find an agent ask around. Some are great (ours was brilliant and went above and beyond. She met us at the airport the night we arrived and bought us to our new home), and some are not so good. We have a couple of friends at the moment who are looking and their agent is pandering to them which means that they have unrealistic expectations and are finding the whole process rather arduous.

Wow, just read this. It is rather disjointed. But hey, that's life.

Discovering a market

Whenever I have asked anyone who has been here for longer than me, which is most people, where they do their fruit, vege and meat shopping. The reply is the same. Tekka markets in Little India.

Now, my experience of markets hasn't always been favourable. In NZ I find that the fruit and vege markets are cheaper, but that the goods don't last as long as the more expensive produce from the supermarket. Here in Singapore, I have trawled through many a wet market with my son excitedly trying to touch the live frogs or search for Nemo. To be honest I find the markets overwhelming and feel rather out of my depth.

Today was a revelation and confidence builder for me. Tuesday and Saturday are the days that the fresh produce is bought in. The best days to go, as I am reliably informed.

I have been struggling to find good chicken, and have been repeatedly told to go visit the Tekka markets. So, today I bit the bullet.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was the food court, hawker stalls. I took note for a later date. I was on a mission today.

Then there was row upon row of fresh fruit and veges. I couldn't identify most of them, but was totally intrigued.

My theory is look around before buying. Get a sense of what is there and what looks good.

After my circuit of fruit and vege, I moved onto the meat and chicken. This is when I got rather overwhelmed. There was butcher after butcher selling beef, lamb and goat. The same for the chicken stalls.

My fear with these places is that if I get the wrong stall then the food is not good and I'll give us all a bad tummy. But hey, you don't know until you try. So try I did.

I found a nice man who talked me through the chicken's.  I was told if they have their heads and feet on and a tag around their necks, then they are fresh and haven't been frozen. I have probably been had and need to research this a bit more, but I feel for his chatter and bought chicken breasts from him. The best thing is that he boned and skinned them for me. How can that be bad.

So, with fresh chicken breasts, fresh stir fry veges I headed home feeling happy with my adventure and proud that I have overcome a silly hang up about markets.

I haven't cooked the food yet, but if it is good as it promises to be you'll find me at this market every Tuesday.

Recycling

Here is something that I wrote to friends just after we arrived.

So, what do you do with a girl called Maria? Take her shopping.

OMG, you would never believe one of the local shops near us. It is a department store, fairly new, but looks about 30 years old as things tend to do here. Not sure why, but new ages very quickly. I would say that the weather is very tough on buildings here.

Anyway, I am looking for a cot mattress for my son. No joy. But I have found about 10 aisles of cleaning products. By this I mean double sided aisles about 3 metres long. Who would have guessed that there was so many different types of window cleaner? 

I am kind of terrified of the place. Because you walk into another building on a different floor (the store goes over three buildings, joined by walk ways. Goes up 4 stories and goes down 2 basement levels) and find another section of cleaning products at slightly different prices. Go figure! 

I can see this working for things like chocolate. They have some refridgerated and some not. The not's are cheaper, but cleaning products? The whole first floor is full on chemist goods. Row upon row of hair dyes and razors.  Oh and adult diapers. These are not hidden away discreetly like they are in NZ. Oh no. There is row upon row of them proudly displayed, they are easier to find then toilet paper or nappies. It's going to give me an ulcer. Maybe best avoided.

Failed on my mission for Max but did end up choosing a window cleaner. God it better be good!

We pulled it off....

The day of reckoning arrived, my sons' 2nd birthday party. It dawned bright and sunny, as happens quite regularly is Singapore. Ooops, I feel a tangent coming on.......

Except when my husband wants to go for a mountain bike ride. I think that it has rained about 75% of the time that he has gone out on the bike. It really is like he is jinxed. I wonder if there is a market for rain gods? I might market him out.

Right back on track again.

Saturday was spent in the kitchen. Burgers, spinach pies and cheesy sausage rolls. Who could not be happy with that?

The evening was spent blowing up balloons. Actually I couldn't even start one balloon. I don't know cheap balloons aren't a good idea.

While I was exhausted after an afternoon in the kitchen, hubby was shattered after an afternoon of keeping the 2 yr old occupied. I suddenly realised that while I get exhausted looking after my son, I am used to it and it was a good wake up call for my husband.

I was up early flipping burgers. Maybe that could be my next career move?

The BBQ pit was adorned with balloons and people arrived. Food was put out and I played the good kiwi host.

"There's the food and the drink, help yourselves." I turned around to discover my son emptying the beers out of the chilly bin declaring "I want this one."

The kids swam the afternoon away and the adults gossiped. It were great.

This is one of the reasons we are here.

Are we having the same conversation?

Do you ever have one of those conversations that feel like you are talking about two different things and really aren't on the same wave length?

I have found that since having my son this happens a lot. I am not really sure why.

My husband goes off to work and seems to have this life that is completely foreign to me. It was always like that and before my son, I had my own life too. We had so much to talk about and share.

So while my husband is bemoaning the process of translating and re-recording a voice over from English to Bhasa. I interject with "did I tell you that our son nearly drowned today?" Well he didn't really, but while playing in the pool he did go under and struggled to get back up. I had it all under control. Really I did.

Later that evening my husband asked for some help with a bit of work he was doing. While we are throwing words around that is relevant to his job, I decide it is the right time to talk about the goodie bags I have to get ready for my son's play group in the morning.

Are you seeing where this is going?

It's a funny displacement. I love the fact that my husband comes home from work and has lots to talk about and new things that interest and excite him. I guess at times I feel like I am being left behind.

But I have the new exciting developments of our son to share and excite me. This is my new job/career and I just need to embrace it so that I don't become dull and boring.

It has only taken me two years to get to this point. Who says I am not a fast learner? Ok, a learner then.

PC

So, I spent the walk back from my son's school, he is 2 and goes to play group fro 2 hours a day but we call it school. Thinking about what I was going to write about today, actually it was yesterday, Tuesday.

I came up with a great topic and then promptly forgot it. I spent the rest of the day taxing my brain trying to remember what it was and in the end gave up and went to bed. Slack, I know.

It was PC'ness. You know political correctness. New Zealand is so politically correct that it is stifling. You are unable to make jokes about race, culture, stereotypes, generalisations which are all begging for comment if you have a vaguely warped sense of humor which I do.

I am not talking about running around town being racist. Actually did you know that NZ has an anti smacking law. This is to discourage people from beating their children, but can technically be applied to those who tap their child's hand, as a way of discouraging them from hitting other children or putting their hands in electrical sockets. They gonna get more than a tap if continue to do that.

Actually, I wonder if a parent of a child who was hit by another child decided to press charges, would that be within theirs rights under this law? I don't really want answer because if someone is petty enough to do that, well I just can't go there.

So back to commenting on things that aren't to be commented on. You know, you even feel guilty having a joke or watching a black comedy in the safety of your own home.

But what made me think of this is the overly polite culture we live in in NZ. Well, unless the rugby is on and everyone is tanked, then people still watch what they say, but they will deck you for looking at them the wrong way.

You see in NZ people que in an orderly fashion, don't push, acknowledge when a door is held open or someone ushers you through the door first. And while we might be self centered in our bigger goals and dreams we are generally polite in our day to day interaction with the people we come across.

It is a huge wake up call when you arrive in a place like Singapore. The population is denser and everyone fights for survival. Well they are used to having to compete and be forthright for the things that they want. This is down to getting on the MRT (public train system). It doesn't matter if you have a buggy or are carrying things, you will be cut off as you try to get through the doors onto the train. And if it is only once you are lucky. The only people who have offered to help me with the buggy up steps.....

Hold on, slight tangent.

Singapore is getting better at having alternative routes for those of us that can't use the stairs. Having said that they will still use the foot path as an extension of their shops and work on the footpath or even store rubbish bins, blocks of concrete and other obstructions which forces one to walk on the road, even with the buggy.

.........are westerners.

I don't believe that Singaporeans mean to be rude, sometimes they are ridiculously polite. But they are used to living with a denser population. I consider getting cutoff as rude or not being acknowledged in a queue, but it's just a way of life here and it is about getting what you want.

There is no welfare system and things don't come to you. You have to come to them.

Maybe NZ is doing a dis-service to it's people by being so pc? It certainly makes it interesting when moving countries.

This is just a broad generalisation, I know. But still, it was my thought.

Couch potato

I love nap time. It's a couple of hours for me to spend on the house. Time for me to do the washing, mop the floors, clean the house, prep dinner and the list goes on and on.

But really I use the time to play on the internet and procrastinate. Maybe a cuppa and an episode of Coronation Street or Emmerdale. I always like a TV programme that has characters who are having a worse time of it than I ever could.

See, I am getting distracted by the stupidity of 'American Princess'. Who creates these programmes? And why? Isn't there enough chaos in the world without adding reality TV? I am never quite sure why I watch it. I don't know what makes it compelling. I know we all want to see what the rich and famous do behind closed doors. Actually we all want to see what people who aren't like us do.  Curiosity. But then I wonder if that breeds discontent as we see what people have and feel inadequate.

So, while I am sitting here musing over the great questions of Human Nature, I am not doing any of the house work I had planned and even more importantly I am not planning the birthday party I am hosting on Sunday. Today is Tuesday. I invited 30 guests to a gathering by the pool for my son's 2nd birthday and still have no idea of food, drinks or anything else for that matter.

Back in NZ it would be very easy. I am familiar with the city I have been living in for the past 7 years and know how it all works. Here I have no idea and am not even sure if the things I want are available. That does mean that I have decided what I want.  It would be fairy bread and sav's in NZ. Here, maybe Indian, maybe burgers, maybe fruit, maybe pasta. Watch this space.

On that note, this modern day stepford wife must away to find a cake for the birthday.

Date Night

One of the frustrations we have encountered in the few months we have been in Singapore, is not being able to get out and about to enjoy the night life, without our 2 year old. Our solution has been the good old date night.

Once a week we have a babysitter come in for the evening so we can get out and about. We all know how date night works.

So, this week it was arcade games. I know, what a treat.

On one of our first weeks here we went to the BHG department store at Bugis Junction and discovered the arcade at the toy department. It ain't huge, but it has simple fun games, well the ones I find fun. This is one time that I can't multi task. I can't lose myself in a game while my son tugs at my legs wanting a go (not likely) or to go for that matter.

Date night was the perfect opportunity for me to escape to oblivion, without the aid of drugs.

We had a blast. I totally enjoyed virtual bowling (I found that I was actually quite good at it. This hasn't ever been my experience when playing the real thing). Shooting hoops was a blast, again not so much in real life. The highlight was feeding Bessie. A rather large puppet with a massive gob, pinned to the wall. The aim was to throw balls in her mouth, which then translated to weight gains for her. It was fun. A basic race against the clock. I am sure we spent about $20 and got 200 tickets, that we can then cash into tragic plastic toys. So much fun. Really!

We then headed to Lian Seah Street for dinner. This is a side street off North Bridge Road which is lined with restaurants on both sides.

We settled on Porns, http://pornsexythaifood.blogspot.com/. How could we go past it. Yes, it is a restaurant. It is a modern looking Thai place. The benchmark of a Thai restaurant for us has always been the Green chicken curry. Theirs was lovely. Just the right amount of spicey heat and rich creaminess. It has lots of vegetable and light on the chicken, but that's the way I like it. The deep fried chicken and garlic was also tasty. Maybe a little on the pricey side for what you got and in comparison with other Thai places in Singapore.

We try to experience something new on date night, it doesn't always happen. This night we continued on the food them and found Ah Chews. Yep, for real, real.

It looked how I imagine authentic chinese to look. I haven't been here long enough to be confident on authenticity yet. Oh, it is a chinese desert restaurant. We sat on low, ornate wooden stools at tables of the same character. There were many things on the menu, sesame paste, peanut paste, lots of sago, red and green bean dishes as well as sticky rice.

I played it safe and had mango sago. Yum. Very sweet, and lots of mango, which is my fav. Hubby had black sticky rice. There isn't much to say about that. It was divine.

The only downer on the entire evening was we chose not to wait for a taxi at the taxi stand and decided that we could flag one down. Turned out to be a fatal floor and we ended up walking home. The lesson is, at 10.30pm don't think you can easily get a cab. These are the nuances that you pick up by living in a city instead of just visiting.

Get on with it!

I have been talking, thinking about doing a blog for ages and have written up many rough drafts, but never followed through. Now I am going to. No, I am, really.

What makes me think that I have anything interesting to write about? Well, I am not sure about that question. But we have just moved to Singapore and I am constantly discovering new things and having adventures which I believe are possibly relevant to other newbies to this great city. On the other hand I might pull out a nugget or two of pure gold for anyone thinking about coming here, whether to live or for a visit.

I can't promise to be regular with my blog, but I will endeavour to post tidbits when my grey matter remembers them or when I have time. Hmm, maybe I should get a smart phone so I can do this on the run?

So, let me get this introduction posted so that I can get on with filling up my quota on the internet.

If anyone does decide the read this and heaven above become a follower, I do hope you enjoy it and or find it useful.